December 2011
3 tags
When I accidentally hit my pet. →
wowfunniestposts:
First, I’m like:
And then, I run after him like:
FOLLOW Wow Funniest Posts
3 tags
friend: mulan isnt even a princess
me: dishonor
dishonor on you
dishonor on your whole family
DISHONOR ON YOUR COW
People are partying and enjoying outside and I am...
la-rosa-del-sur:
0-fivethirty:
Band member: Hi, nice to meet you!
Me: I can't believe I'm actually talking to you, and breathing the same air! Oh my gosh, I'll never wash these lungs again. sldkjfhglkjdf
Band member: *laughs*
Me: *laughs*
Band member: So do you want me to sign something?
Me: Let's make beautiful babies.
Band member: What?
Me: What?
Band member:
Me:
Band member:
Me:
Band member:
Me: I asked if you could sign my.... poster.
Band member: I could have sworn you just said -
Me: Poster.
Band member: But -
Me: Poster.
2 tags
That moment when you are trying to cheer up your...
20 Years From Now:
Husband: Why do you have a blog with pages and pages of my face?
Me: Honey, that was before we got married.
2 tags
me: omg lets be friends
person: ok
/never talk again
4 tags
everyone: it's just a band
you: YOU KNOW NOTHING
1 tag
When you stop arguing with someone and they say...
Featured at Laugh-Out-Loud-Johntot :) Follow NOW!
3 tags
child predator: I have candy come in my van
me: no thanks
predator: I have wifi come in my van
me: ok
1 tag
me: mom can i hang out with my friend next weekend
mom: where are you going to go
mom: what's their name
mom: where do they live
mom: how old are they
mom: are they from the internet
mom: what are their favorite colors
mom: what about hobbies
mom: what about pet names
mom: do you have a boyfriend
mom: are you lying to me
mom: what ethnic group are they
mom: what time did you go to bed last night?
me: that information is confidential
2 tags
awkwardly in an elevator with 8 strangers
strangers:
me:
strangers:
me:
strangers:
me: i bet you're wondering why i've gathered you all here today, hello
On a scale of 1-100 how immature are you?
69
1 tag
3 tags
They’ve promised us that dreams come true - but forgot that nightmares are...
– Oscar Wilde (via illusies)
my otp: breathes in the same room
me: holy shit
me: oh my god
me: oh my fucking god
me: oh my god they're sharing the same air
me: they're so in lov-- OH MY GOD THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER
me: IM GONNA DIE
me: I CANT LIVE
me: i love you